


The Funeral of Serena Westhauser

by SgtLeppard



Category: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon (Anime), Pocket Monsters | Pokemon - All Media Types, Pocket Monsters: X & Y | Pokemon X & Y Versions
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Car Accidents, Gen, Survivor Guilt, Wakes & Funerals
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-25
Updated: 2017-02-25
Packaged: 2018-09-24 22:18:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,980
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9789467
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SgtLeppard/pseuds/SgtLeppard
Summary: Serena is gone. Clemont blames himself for it.





	

**Author's Note:**

> oKAY SO I didn't think I'd actually write Pokémon fanfiction, let alone angsty Pokémon fanfiction. And yet, look what we got here. I'm ready for the pitchforks :'D
> 
> Apparently Serena's last name was never revealed????? Have a headcanon surname instead. And everyone's older than they actually are in the anime to some degree
> 
> I swear I am never writing another funeral story after this. Too much research and honestly depressing

_"Tragic news out of the Kalos region. Serena Westhauser, famed Pokémon performer and PokéVision star, has died. Westhauser was involved in a head-on collision that sent her car into a lake, where she ultimately drowned. She was 17 years old. She leaves behi--"_

Clemont quickly turned the television off. He couldn't hear any more. It wasn't like he didn't know -- he was there, along with Ash and Bonnie. But being reminded that they couldn't save their friend tore him up inside. Being in the car with Serena when it plunged into the lake was bad enough.

 

_"Serena!"_

_"Don't worry about me! All of you get out now!"_

_"Come on!"_

_"Just go! Get Bonnie and go!"_

_"I'm not leaving you behind here!"_

_"Just do it, Clemont!"_

 

That scene continued to replay in his head for the longest time. They should've walked. If anything, Clemont should've driven, even though Serena was the only one with a driver's license. Maybe then, she'd still be there with them. They'd be in the next city by now. Hell, maybe even had a run-in with Team Rocket. As strange as it sounded, he almost wished they'd show up. Their absence only further accented the fact that nothing was right at all.

"Clemont?"

Turning around, he saw Ash standing nearby with two cups of hot chocolate. "Hey, Ash."

Ash carefully set the cups down on the table as to not wake the sleeping Bonnie and Dedenne. The poor girl's face was still tear-stained, but thankfully the sniffling had stopped. It was good that she could finally sleep. Having Dedenne close by certainly helped. "How are you holding up?" he asked, taking a seat next to his friend.

Clemont sighed. "It should've been me."

"Clemont, blaming yourself for Serena's death isn't going to help anybody."

"I know that, Ash." The Lumiose gym leader sniffled and quickly wiped a tear away. "It's just... if I had stayed and waited for Serena, she'd still be alive..."

"Yeah, and then you and Bonnie would be in much worse shape than you are now."

Ash had a point. The three of them were lucky to have not sustained any serious injuries. That wasn't exactly going to stop Clemont from thinking that he should've done something different, anything. As long as it would've meant that Serena would still be alive, he would've done it in a heartbeat. She didn't deserve to go out this way. Not even Team Rocket deserved such a fate -- at least, according to Ash, and he wasn't about to ask why. Maybe it was better that way.

"She was more concerned about you and Bonnie than herself," Ash continued. "She didn't want you to risk your life trying to save hers."

Selfless. That's how she was. Ash definitely rubbed off on her.

 

_"Just do it, Clemont!"_

_"Serena!"_

_"Go! I'll be fine!"_

_"...I'll be back! I promise!"_

 

"I promised her," Clemont mumbled. "I promised I'd come back for her."

"And you did."

"But I was too late, Ash!" Voice cracking, Clemont stared down his friend, grief and anger present in his eyes. "I was too damn late! I should've helped her! I should've been faster! I shouldn't have even suggested we drive in the first place!"

Ash placed his hands on Clemont's shoulders. "You didn't know this was going to happen. None of us did. And no amount of what-ifs is going to bring her back!"

That was the final brick knocked loose to tear the dam down. Tears freely flowed down Clemont's cheeks as all of his sorrow came out in gasping sobs. Ash pulled his friend in for a tight hug, doing his best to console him. After all, they all suffered the same loss. They all lost a wonderful friend. Ash had the feeling that she meant so much more to Clemont than the gym leader let on, but he felt it wasn't his place to question it. It was an inappropriate time, not to mention rude.

What were they going to do now without her?

\----------

The red and pink dress. Her mother had given that dress to her. It was Serena's favourite to wear at Pokémon performances.

And it was the dress she would be laid to rest in.

It didn't make any sense. She died so tragically, yet looked so peaceful in the casket. Clemont knew that from a scientific, logical, and very literal point of view, Serena was dead. But seeing her in the casket, looking like she was just about to perform at a showcase, not a single thing out of place, she looked to be just sleeping. He wondered just how long he could fool himself into thinking she was only asleep before the illusion would be broken.

He sorely wished that this was all just a bad dream and that she was okay. But no. No matter how much he wished, Serena wasn't coming back. This was as real as real could get. His friend was dead. Actually dead. She would never open her eyes again. Never speak again. Never smile. Never dance.

Never live.

_She did not deserve this. It should've been me. I should be the one in that casket. I..._

"Oh, Clemont. I didn't expect you to be here."

He didn't need to turn around to recognise the voice. Serena's mother. "She was my friend," he replied, throat somewhat raspy. "Why wouldn't I be here?"

Grace smiled sadly. "Good point... Thank you for coming."

Clemont let out a small hum in response, still gazing at Serena's lifeless body. It just didn't make sense.

"She looks wonderful, doesn't she?" Grace spoke up after a moment of silence.

The gym leader nodded. That she did indeed. But now he thought of what would happen without her around. How much would change? What was going to become of her beloved Pokémon?

"I'm going to get some coffee," Grace spoke, "but before I do, I should give you this."

Clemont finally turned to face her. "What is it?"

She rummaged around in her purse for a moment before producing an envelope. It had been opened previously -- or maybe never properly sealed. Handing the envelope to him, she continued, "Professor Sycamore gave me this the day after she died. I think you, Ash, and Bonnie should read it as well."

Read it? Must be a letter. Clemont opened the envelope and unfolded the paper inside, then began to read.

 

_Dear Prof Sycamore,_

_Being on this journey with my friends is filled with adventurous moments and wonder, but it's also fraught with danger. I figured it was best that I write this down in the event that something happens to me. Fennekin is a wonderful friend, and I want her to be properly taken care of. Should something happen to me, I want her, as well as any other potential Pokémon I catch, to be placed in either your, my mom's, or my friends' care. At least this way I can be certain that she'll be in good hands._

_Thanks for all of your support!  
Serena W_

 

"S-she... wants us to take care of her Pokémon?"

Grace nodded. "The professor and I are much too busy to look after her Pokémon full time, and since she had been travelling with you for so long, we felt that her Pokémon would be better off with you. You and the others know how to take care of them, and you're the most familiar with them."

What she said was the only thing since Serena's death that made sense. He would do the same thing, as would Ash. Especially Ash. He wouldn't entrust Pikachu to just anybody. It had to be someone who was most familiar with and capable of caring for the Pokémon.

Grace left a moment later, giving Clemont time to think things over. Her now Braixen, Pancham, and Sylveon were to be watched over and taken care of by him, Ash, and Bonnie. It's what Serena wanted. She trusted them with such a task.

"Serena," he spoke aloud to her still body, "I promise you we'll take very good care of them. Wherever you are now..." He took a hold of her hand. It was so icy cold. "...you don't have anything to worry about." Fresh tears streamed down his face. "I promise...! I won't fail them like I failed you...! I promise...!"

He stood there for several moments, sobbing and gripping her hand tightly. Why was this happening? What did she do to deserve this? She was too young. She had her whole life ahead of her, and then had it cut short all because the other driver couldn't keep his eyes on the damn road. Unfortunately, there was nothing he could do. The past can't be changed. What's done is done.

The funeral director soon came in, along with the pallbearers. "Sir? It's time."

Clemont didn't want to move. They can't take her away. Not just yet. Not yet. "One more moment... please..."

"Of course." The director and the pallbearers stood by and waited patiently.

One more moment. One _last_ moment. He sighed. This was going to be his last moment with her before they closed her casket. He needed to make it mean something. Well then, why not finally get something off his chest? After all, it was his last chance to say it.

Clemont took a deep breath before finally speaking. "Serena, I... I wish I could've told you this sooner. Unfortunately, it can't change anything, but... better late than never, right?" He chuckled weakly before continuing. "I really like you. W-well, more than like." Better late than never. "I... I love you, Serena. I don't know why I couldn't work up the courage to tell you before." The gym leader sniffled. "How ironic that I do after you're gone." He readjusted his glasses, causing a glare to bounce off momentarily. "I know there's... Heh, great, I'm at a loss for words." He quickly gathered his thoughts. "I know... there's nothing that can be done about it now," he resumed slowly, "but I'll..." He let out a hitched sob. "I'll miss you... so much... So will Ash and Bonnie... and your mother and... all of your fans... and your Pokémon. Especially them."

Time was almost up. He had to say his last goodbye while he could still see her. A small part of him desperately wished she would open her eyes and this would all be just a very long and dragged out nightmare. But he knew better. This nightmare had no end. Taking a shaky breath, Clemont leaned down into the casket and placed a light, chaste kiss on Serena's forehead. "I love you," he whispered before reluctantly pulling away. "Don't worry about us, Serena," he sniffled. "We'll be alright. Somehow."

As he let go of her hand, the funeral director stepped forward. He made sure everything was in place, then closed the casket.

Clemont would never see her again.

\----------

There was a bit of a drive to get to the church and cemetery. Grace had offered to give Ash, Clemont, and Bonnie a ride there. The three of them had discussed Serena's letter and decided on what would become of her Pokémon. Ash would take care of Pancham, Bonnie, since she'll be turning 10 very soon, would take care of Sylveon, and Clemont would take care of Braixen. They also figured that the Pokémon should have a chance to say goodbye at the funeral as well. They did belong to her, after all.

The drive was completely silent. No one felt like saying anything, nor did Grace turn the radio on. It didn't feel right. Clemont gazed at the Pokéball in his hands. Braixen would now be his to care for and train. A part of him didn't want to, but he had a promise to keep. Serena trusted him and the others to care for them in her absence. He wasn't about to break it because of his discomfort. He owed it to her. _Braixen, I won't let you down. I know I'm no replacement for Serena, but I'll do everything I can to be the best trainer for you._

_I won't let you down._

_I can't let you down._

The sound of a bell tolling brought him out of his thoughts. That meant they finally arrived at the church. This was it. Looking up, he gasped softly. There were so many people outside of the church. He could tell a lot of them had to be fans of hers. There were a few familiar faces, namely Shauna, Trevor, and Tierno. It was nice of them to come. There were also numerous other performers. Clemont could only assume that it was customary for performers to attend the funeral of a fellow performer. Even the Kalos Queen herself was there. Definitely customary. Still, their presence was greatly appreciated.

Pocketing Braixen's Pokéball, he and the others slowly stepped out of the car. Other cars from the procession parked, people filing out. Serena's casket was taken out of the hearse by the pallbearers and placed on a rack to be wheeled inside. As everyone lined up two-by-two behind the family and close friends, Shauna caught up with Clemont. No words were exchanged, but it was clear they both expressed grief over the loss of a good friend.

Being pretty close to the front of the line, he found himself sitting in the second to front pew, Bonnie on one side and Shauna on the other. The bell had finally stopped tolling, but it didn't make the situation any easier for him.

Once everyone was seated, Clemont and the others let Serena's Pokémon out. Sylveon immediately understood what was going on, not making a single sound. Ash tried his best to explain to Pancham where Serena was and the fact that she wasn't coming back, though it seemed he was having trouble comprehending.

"Braix?" Braixen seemed confused and wanted to know where her trainer was.

Clemont sighed. "Braixen... Serena's gone."

"Xen?" She wanted clarification.

This was such a bitter pill to swallow. "I don't mean that she just left and she'll be back later on. I mean that she's..." God, he can't even bring himself to say it.

"Braixen..." The fox Pokémon placed a paw on his shoulder. She seemed to understand that at least Serena didn't abandon her. Taking in her surroundings, she could tell that whatever event this was, it wasn't a happy one. "Xen braix?"

"This is a funeral, Braixen," Clemont explained shortly. "It's a service to honour and bury deceased loved ones." Here it comes. "It's... for Serena."

Braixen let out a noise resembling a shocked gasp. Now it made sense. Her trainer's absence, everyone appearing sorrowful. Now she knew. Clemont was trying to tell her that her trainer was dead.

"I'm so sorry, Braixen," Clemont spoke, voice hitching. Braixen didn't make a single further noise, but stayed resolutely by his side. He made a mental note to explain to her later on that she'll be with him from now on.

The presiding priest stepped up to the pulpit and began to speak, but Clemont largely didn't hear what was being said. He felt numb. This just couldn't be happening. But it was. It was happening. No amount of internal therapy could make him believe that this was just a bad dream and he'll wake up soon. It was time to face reality.

The gym leader zoned out for some time until Braixen nudged him. "Braix," the Pokémon shortly said. Looking up, Clemont saw that everyone was getting up, and Serena's casket was being carried out by the pallbearers to her final resting place. "Come on," he murmured, following the crowd into the cemetery.

It was a bright and sunny day. Birds were chirping, the trees softly swayed with a gentle breeze. It was a very lovely day. Serena always said that she loved days like this. How ironic -- or was it fate? -- that she was to be buried on such a day. It wasn't fair.

As the attendance was considerably larger than Serena's family and friends had anticipated, many were left having to stand some distance away, making sure not to stand on anyone else's graves. Clemont didn't really remember why it was considered disrespectful to stand or step on someone's gravesite, but he still followed the tradition, walking in between the various gravesites until he finally reached Serena's designated plot. A performer who was sitting in one of the chairs in the front recognised him and immediately gave up her seat. "I kept it open for you," she said, gesturing to Bonnie, who sat next to the now empty chair. Murmuring a thank you to the girl, he took the seat with Braixen standing by him.

Clemont gazed at the sleek, silverish grey casket in front of him. A large arrangement of pink and red flowers had been placed on top. They weren't limited to one type. There were many. It was beautiful. It reminded him of when he and the others, along with Korrina, made flower arrangements as part of her and her Lucario's training for Mega Evolution. That was a happier time. This, not so much. Speaking thus, he spotted Korrina and Lucario on the other side of the casket. He honestly didn't expect her to be there, since she was a gym leader. Then again, so was he.

Now the graveside service began. The priest spoke more words again, which Clemont didn't pay much attention to, but thankfully he didn't speak for very long. Grace soon stood up front, sharing a few words of her own, followed by Ash and Aria. Personal eulogies. Ash pretty much spoke on his, Clemont's, and Bonnie's behalf, but it made Clemont think for a moment. Maybe he had something to say. Something special to add that Serena would appreciate.

 

_"Do you have to constantly change the station?"_

_"It's hard to find a station with good music."_

_Serena eventually stops on a certain station. Fennekin yips with glee as a song begins to play. It's a mostly acoustic number, Clemont can tell. He's not much into music theory and such, but it is certainly beautiful. He gazes at Serena with wonder as she sings along. "I'll let you in on something, Clemont," she says, a wide smile on her face. "This is my favourite song."_

_It doesn't seem like something she would be interested in, given her taste in music. And yet here she is, singing along to this forty-someodd-year-old song as if it is the newest and hottest hit on the radio. He has to admit, her singing voice is amazing. He would give anything to hear it again and again. Oh damn, he really has it bad for her, doesn't he?_

_Maybe he'll make use of this knowledge one day._

 

It never occurred to him before that the day in question would be today. Maybe it was a good thing that he came prepared. He had thought he would encounter a situation like this, though this time, he didn't need any brand new inventions. What he needed was already made and prepared ahead of time.

Shauna was the last one to give a eulogy for Serena so far. After a short moment, Clemont gathered up his courage and made his way to the front. Oh great, stagefright. At Serena's funeral, no less. _I should've prepared a script._ Too late for that now. He'll just have to wing it.

Clearing his throat, he spoke.

"Most everything that I could say about Serena has already been said. She loved to bake. She loved to perform. And most of all, she loved her family, her friends, and her Pokémon. Everyone knows that. But there was one other thing she loved to do that not many people actually know about. She loved to sing. The best way I can describe it is... she was like the soloist of a choir full of angels. She always sounded amazing. She had no equal. To me, she still doesn't..."

He shuffled a little on his feet, then continued. "I still remember when she told me about it. We'd been travelling together for... at least two months by then. She was flipping through several radio stations. She couldn't seem to make up her mind which unholy noise she wanted to listen to this time." His choice of wording thankfully achieved the desired effect of a small round of laughter. Even Serena used to laugh at light jabs like that. The girl had a wonderful sense of humour. "At some point, she stopped on one station -- didn't even know what station it was. This one song in particular started playing. Almost immediately, she started singing along. Believe me, once she started singing, she didn't stop until she was finished." A nearby relative said something along the lines of 'Amen to that'. "That's when she told me. She said, 'I'll let you in on something, Clemont. This is my favourite song.'"

He pulled off his backpack, which he had taken with him, and pulled out a small portable disc player. The disc he needed was already inside, the batteries were fresh, and it had built-in speakers. All he needed to do was turn it on.

"I think she would want you all to hear it." He said nothing further and pressed play.

Several people gasped when the song began to play. It was a song called Fire and Rain. No one really expected it. As the song played, Clemont could see Ash and Bonnie sniffling and holding Pancham and Sylveon close.

Ever since that awful day, Clemont didn't have it in him to cry. He felt beyond numb. If anything, he was the one who was most in denial about Serena's death. He refused to believe it. Even up to this point, he continued to deny it. But the scene before him hit him hard. So many people gathered here to honour Serena's life and lay her to rest. He took in the many tearstained faces, seeing the widespread heartbreak. He couldn't deny the fact any longer.

_Serena's dead. She's dead._

It had been a very long week, and it took this song and this very moment to make him admit it, if only to himself. Soon, his vision began to blur. Since when did it decide to rain? He couldn't hear the rain pattering down on the tent. Someone close by him was sniffling with hitched sobs. In fact, it sounded like it was coming from himself. Then it made sense. It took him a moment to realise it wasn't rain, but his own tears. He didn't feel numb anymore. His eyes stung. His throat clenched and burned. All he could feel was the immense pain of losing someone he cared about so dearly. A part of him felt empty without her around. He loved her. And now she was gone.

There was no more denying it now. There was no point to do so. For the first time since Serena passed, Clemont cried. He cried and cried. A large part of his life had been cruelly ripped away from him. But he wasn't the only one suffering, he knew. Ash and Bonnie lost a very close friend. Braixen, Pancham, and Sylveon lost their beloved trainer. So many fans lost their idol.

Most of all, Grace lost her only daughter. He didn't really want to compare how bad his own suffering was to anyone else's, but he was certain Grace was taking it the hardest.

The song finally ended, leaving everyone Clemont could immediately see in tears. It had struck a chord with them. While she never told him why it was her favourite song, he found that the lyrics were oddly appropriate. _Yes,_ he thought, _Serena would've loved it._

He packed the disc player back into his bag, then returned to his seat. "Xen…" Braixen held onto his arm tightly. He could tell that she appreciated the gesture. All of her Pokémon did.

"That was lovely, big brother," Bonnie half-whispered, half-sobbed. Ash said nothing, but nodded to show his appreciation as well.

The priest was back up front and spoke his last words. "While Serena may be gone, she will still be with us in our hearts. Physical existence is temporary, but the memory will always remain. She will not be forgotten. And so we bid our final farewells to our beloved daughter, sister, and friend, Serena Westhauser. May she rest in peace."

After the priest stepped away, the mourners stepped up to Serena's casket one by one to say their last goodbyes and take a flower from the bouquet on top to remember her by. Unlike the flowers from the arrangements in the flower pots and wreaths, the casket arrangement was made entirely of plastic flowers. It was a nice touch, Clemont thought. This way the flowers that the mourners pick won't ever wilt or fade. They would be an everlasting reminder of Serena's memory.

"I'll miss you so much, Serena, and so will Sylveon."

"You were a great trainer and performer. Pancham's in good hands."

"...Goodbye, my daughter... Be safe..."

Once Clemont reached the casket, he didn't know how he could say goodbye to the wonderful young lady who stole his heart, especially in such a heartbreaking way as this. It wasn't fair. It. Was. Not. Fair. But he had to accept it.

"Braixen."

He turned his attention to Braixen. She held up a plastic stargazer lily. "Xen braixen braix," the Pokémon purred sadly. Clemont took this to mean that Serena must've liked these kinds of flowers and Braixen wants him to have one.

Clemont took the flower, slowly spinning it in his hands. "Thanks, Braixen," he sniffled.

"Braix."

The flower, albeit plastic, was absolutely beautiful. Just like Serena was.

"Saying goodbye is a hard thing to do," a voice nearly startled him. It was the priest.

The gym leader nodded. "She was a great friend to me," he answered. "How do you say goodbye to someone who's changed your life in such a profound way?"

"One of life's many questions, but we eventually find a way." The priest lightly patted the casket. "I've presided over many a funeral. Each time, there's always at least one person who finds it very hard to let go. But I want to tell you something."

"What is that?"

"Believe it or not, going through the funeral is actually the easiest part of grieving. The hardest part is getting over it and moving on. Adjusting to the absence of a loved one is always difficult, no matter the circumstances. Especially in death. Remember that."

The priest was right. But if Clemont was taking the funeral hard already, the rest of the way was going to be worse. He just had to try. Besides, he wasn't alone. There was Grace, Ash, Bonnie, Braixen, Pancham, and Sylveon. With their help, and his help to them, they would all heal. Maybe not overnight, but someday. Serena's life may be over, but that didn't mean everyone else stopped living on their own. Her death isn't the end of the world, though it certainly might feel like it.

Yes. Things will be alright in the end. Clemont understood that now. He wasn't sure how long he would mourn Serena's death, but he knew it wouldn't last forever. It didn't make things any easier, however. He guessed that was just how mourning worked. Nothing was easy.

Sighing, he placed his hand on the casket. "I... I guess we'll see each other again someday," he said. "You'll wait, right? I don't plan on dying anytime soon myself so... God, this is ridiculously hard." He choked back a sob. It was time. "Goodbye, Serena. I love you." Reluctantly, he removed his hand and, with Braixen's help, left the gravesite. It was just as hard for Braixen to leave, but they had to eventually.

Clemont and Braixen met up with the others in front of the church a few minutes later. "Grace said there's going to be a wake and invited us," Ash said, finally out of tears to cry. "Bonnie and I are going. What about you, Clemont?"

A wake sounded like a nice idea. The gym leader nodded. "Yeah," he breathed. "I'll go."

As the group walked back to Grace's car, a lot of things went through Clemont's mind. Mainly, how were they going to move on from this? The priest's words came back to him. Of course, they'll find a way. They'll find the strength to carry on. Stepping into the car, he called Braixen back into her Pokéball and wondered how Serena's Pokémon would adjust to life without her. He guessed they'll figure it out too.

He gazed out of the window as they began to leave the church. He could still clearly see Serena's casket, which was now being lowered into the ground by the gravediggers. As sad and heart wrenching of a sight it was to see the girl he loved being laid to rest for all eternity, he mustered up a smile. Even though she was gone, he would move on someday. It sure wasn't going to be anytime soon, but one day. The same will go for the others and her Pokémon. That's how life was, right?

"What's with the smile, big brother?" Bonnie asked, noticing his change of expression.

Clemont chuckled softly and turned his attention away from the window. "Just thinking," he replied.

Bonnie rolled her eyes. "You think a lot, Clemont." Well, she wasn't wrong. This drew a few giggles from Ash and Grace, the first time either of them had laughed even a little bit all week. It wasn't much, but it was a start.

 _Yes indeed,_ Clemont thought. _We'll be alright. It'll be a while, but we'll be alright. We'll find a way._

Life goes on. They'll find a way. Somehow.

**Author's Note:**

> "Fire and Rain" is a song by James Taylor that was released in February of 1970, and it's been a favourite of mine since I was a kid. For added feels effect, try the Glee version. I dunno, maybe the absence of drums just makes it more feelsy. I was listening to it on repeat while trying to write Clemont's eulogy and kept wanting to cry
> 
> Also I'm sorry for how long it drags out. Most of how Clemont is dealing with Serena's death was drawn from my own experiences with funerals of loved ones. Grieving and funerals aren't fun, guys, but trust me when I say that things will be alright in the end. It may take a long time, but it will


End file.
